It's a warm breezy day. All the windows in our house are open. I sat in the chair by the window in Loyal's room this morning as he fell asleep in my arms, his chubby hands wrapped around a bottle. In that moment I felt like I was fulfilling a deep purpose. Feeding a child, and bringing him rest and safety in my arms, these are things that are so important.
But on the other hand, some moments I'll be holding him, feeding him in that same chair, and feel like I'd rather be doing something more "worthwhile" with my time. I'll feel like I'm tethered to that chair and I just want to escape. Why is that? It's probably because there's no breeze. I'm kidding.
Maybe we are all fighting that same battle of finding purpose and contentment.
After Imogen was born, I would say it took about three months for me to find my new normal, and to start feeling like myself again. After Loyal, we are going on 7 months and I'm still not quite there.
I don't have answers, but what I can tell you is this - I've added two things to my daily routine: I've started accepting more sponsors, and I've started working for my dad's company doing some social media managing. Suddenly, I find myself busier, and happier.
I find that at night after the kids go to bed, I still have something to work on that's just for me. It's something that brings me back to my old identity before being a mom (though I don't resent being a mom! If you're a parent, you understand). It's something keeping me busy and allowing me to bring in a little more money. We're not old-fashioned over here; we don't think it's MY JOB to cook every meal and mop while Josh goes and makes all the money. I actually really like making money too, and Josh likes cooking more than I do. So finding our family balance has felt tricky but I think we are doing better! And we're enjoying our days more, which leads to enjoying the simple moments more like just feeding a baby while the warm breeze hits us.
I'm not sure where I was going with this, but it's just something I wanted to pen (key?) as long as it's on my mind. And if any of you people have social media managing tips, I'm all ears!! I'm learning as I go, but I'm really enjoying it!!
Anyway, I have a baby to feed! Hope you're all having a great week. My dad is coming to visit this weekend and we are so excited!